Ravi Bopara's century has guided England to 283-7 in the first Test against the West Indies at Lord's - follow LIVE over-by-over commentary.
Over 87 - England 283-7 (Gayle 0-2-4-0-0-0)
The Windies skipper brings himself on - presumably to stop any of those discussions about the light - but Bopara takes advantage straight away with a crunching drive over midwicket for four. Three more overs left today - and Fidel Edwards is taking his sweater off and grabbing the ball. It's brightened up a little bit, but Gayle hasn't taken the new ball to help his strike bowler get a place on the honours board in time for the end of the day.
Over 86 - England 277-7 (Benn 0-W-2-0-0-0)
Graeme Swann gets off to a decent start with a couple of runs on his first ball, but that last wicket means you'd probably say that it's been the Windies who've edged the day - despite that horror film's worth of dropped catches.
Over 85.2 - WICKET! Bresnan 9 lbw b Benn, England 275-7
The promising debut comes to an early end with what looks like a shocking decision: Hawkeye shows the ball is going miles over the stumps and probably wide of leg as well. That's a shocker of a decision - but England can't complain about thier luck on balance today.
Over 85 - England 275-6 (Taylor wd-2lb-2-0-0-1-0)
Taylor fires a load of balls - in every sense - down the leg side. Bresnan has no problem leaving them all, and with the light fading quickly it looks like the job of hanging around til closing time is almost complete.
Over 84 - England 269-6 (Benn 0-4-0-0-0-1)
Still on strike, Bresnan sloshes a stunning drive through the covers for four on the second ball of the over. What a nerve settler that one was! He looks pretty comfortable for a debutant, and picks up a single in the final ball of the over to keep the strike.
Over 83 - England 264-6 (Taylor 0-0-0-1-0-1)
Bopara takes a quick single - one that's a little took quick for Bresnan - and the big man then earns his first run in international cricket. And he's already outscored Kevin Pietersen.
Over 82 - England 262-6 (Benn 0-0-0-0-W-0)
New man in Tim Bresnan blocks away his first ball in Test cricket. It's a quick one, but he digs it out safely. If his stats - and his three first class centuries - are anything to go by, he could be equally as useful as Broad...
Over 81.5 - WICKET! Broad 38 c Taylor b Benn, England 262-6
Broad's luck finally runs out with a loose cut straight to Taylor at gully, and for the first time in what feels like hours the catch sticks. That's been a terrific contribution from Broad in a partnership of 69 which, along with the terrible catching, seems to have kept England in with a chance of winning a Test match.
Over 81 - England 262-5 (0-1-1-0-0-0)
With the end of the day just eight overs away, there's a new ball on offer - but it looks like Chris Gayle might save it for the last over or two.
Over 80 - England 260-5 (Benn 0-0-0-0-0-0-0)
Yet another dropped catch for the tourists, as Broad mistimes a big one down the ground and ends up chipping the ball straight back over Baker's head - but the big man simply pings it into the air off his thumb. Horrendous.
Over 79 - England 260-5 (Baker 0-0-2-4-0-0)
Bopara picks up six in that one to get well past the ton, and we're past the point where he's likekly to drop his guard having just got over the line.
Over 78 - England 254-5 (Benn 0-4-0-0-1-1)
A lovely slog over mid-on by Broad flies away for four to bring him to 36 - amazingly, Broad's Test average - with this innings included - is edging just over 31.
For comparison, Freddie Flintoff's Test average is 31.69.
Over 77 - England 248-5 (Baker 0-2-0-0-wd-0-0)
Now Bopara is dropped again! An outside edge whistles to second slip, but the outstretched Devon Smith can't hang on to it. That is five drops now... That one was a toughie, but most of them have been criminal.
Over 76 - England 245-5 (Benn 4-0-0-0-0-0)
Broad dropped again! An outside edge just passes by Ramdin's gloves, but the wicket keeper was too close in to have much chance of grabbing that one.
Over 75 - England 241-5 (Baker 1-0-3-0-0-0)
Bopara's brilliant century in the toughest of circumstances has held England together and kept them in this Test match. Looks like all bets are off for that number three slot... and I guess that means the end of Michael Vaughan's Test career.
Over 74.1 - CENTURY! Ravi Bopara runs a quick single off the first ball of Baker's over, and that's his ton!
Over 74 - England 237-5 (Benn 1-0-1-0-0-0)
Bopara on 99, and will face Baker at the start of the next over...
Over 73 - England 235-5 (Baker 0-0-0-3-0-0)
Yet another beautiful drive from Broad sees him pick up three runs. Bopara is still there marooned just short of three figures...
Over 72 - England 232-5 (Benn 0-0-1-0-1-0)
Bopara cracks a gorgeous drive that looks like it will be the boundary - but though it flies to the rope, it's stopped just short and it will only be a single... Come on Ravi, get over the line already...
Change of bowling sees Baker come in, with Broad facing now.
Over 71 - England 230-5 (Edwards 0-0-4-0-0-0)
Broad clatters a terrific back-foot boundary off Edwards's very full delivery. That's Broad to a very decent 20 already, and the partnership is now 37.
Over 70 - England 226-5 (Benn 0-0-0-0-1-1)
A solid over from Benn, but Bopara is one closer to that ton...
Over 69 - England 224-5 (Edwards 0-0-3nb-0-0-0-0)
Edwards looks furious about these dropped catches still, and gives everything he's got at Broad - but the England bowler keeps his head. He knows that him keeping his wicket for the rest of the day will likely be the difference between a potential match-winning first innings and a match-losing one.
Over 68 - England 221-5 (Baker 0-0-0-2-4-4)
Bopara scores his first runs for a good ten minutes with a lovely leg glance for four off Baker - then jammily edges for four on the very next ball to be within four of a brilliant century.
Over 67 - England 211-5 (Edwards 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Unbelievable drop in the slips! Broad edges one appallingly to Gayle, who fumbles it and watches in horror as Devon Smith can't hold the rebound either. Edwards has four wickets from the day, but he could have had seven: that's three absolute sitters dropped off his bowling this afternoon.
Over 66 - England 211-5 (Baker 1-0-0-0-0-0)
Broad nips a nice little single off the first ball of the over, but Bopara looks like he's in the nervous nineties already - even though he's only on 86.
Over 65 - England 210-5 (Edwards 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Edwards locks Bopara out for an entire over, putting the ball consistently well wide of leg. England's new number three is looking great - and more important, he's looking lucky as hell.
Over 64 - England 210-5 (Baker 1-0-3-0-1-0)
Broad gets another thick edge to gully, but this time it doesn't quite carry and he gets away with it again. You feel that the innings can't last long, though... but then he hits another of those lovely cover drives that earns him three, so maybe he can at least pick up a few before he heads back to the pavillion.
Over 63 - England 205-5 (Edwards 0-1-0-0-4-0)
Stuart Broad smacks a lovely drive through the off side once again, this time a perfectly-timed front foot effort that races through cover for four. But just as the crowd start to enjoy it, he gets dropped at gully on the very next ball by Benn.
Over 62 - England 200-5 (Simmons 0-0-0-wd-0-4-wd-0)
A gorgeous four from Broad, who rocks back and smashes the ball cleanly through the gap to remind everyone that his batting is clearly good enough for him to be considered an all-rounder.
It's a very loose over from Simmons that includes a pair of dreadful wides - proper Saturday afternoon at the local park stuff. The second of the wides brings up the 200 for England - a score that looked unlikely just after lunch.
Over 61 - England 194-5 (Edwards W-0-1-0-0-0)
An excellent over for Edwards, keeping Broad and Bopara penned in. There's a brief call for LBW a on that final ball of the over but it was a clear bat-pad.
Over 60.1 - WICKET! Prior 42, c Simmons b Edwards
There's the breakthrough - the tea break, like the lunch break, serving only to ruin the batsmen's flow. Matt Prior pokes at a ball just outside off stump and manages only to flop it up into the hands of Lendl Simmons at cover.
Bad news for England, but Prior has done a decent job of helping pull England out of trouble. The question now is whether the lower order men can keep Bopara company long enough to take the score into competitive territory.
Over 60 - England 193-4 (Simmons 0-0-4-2-0-0)
A mis-timed leg glance by Bopara catches an edge and races down to the boundary for four. He's living slightly dangerously now...
Over 59 - England 187-4 (Edwards 0-4-0-0-0-1)
Fidel Edwards is back in after tea - obviously that 'back strain' has healed fairly quickly, and delivers a couple of lovely yorkers... but Bopara digs the first one out, and smashes the second straight back down the ground for four!
A couple of balls later his good return from tea almost turns sour as he spoons an easy chance to Brendan Nash at square-leg... but Nash drops it! A straightforward chance, that one, and Bopara has lost another life on top of his earlier LBW survival.
-------- TEA -----------
Over 58 - England 182-4 (Gayle 0-0-1-2-0-0)
That's the last over before the tea break, and though England were looking in major trouble after Edwards's three quick wickets after lunch - including a first-ball dismissal of Kevin Pietersen - Boparar and Prior have done a superb, 73-runs-and-counting-partnership job of keeping the home side in it.
Over 57 - England 179-4 (Simmons 1-0-0-1-4-0)
Prior prods one between wicket keeper and the sole slip in place for Simmons, and the ball edges down to third man for four. There's a bit of head scratching by bowler and captain, but Prior played down on it enough that it would never have carried anyway.
Over 56 - England 173-4 (Gayle 2-0-0-0-0-0)
The skipper trundles in to bowl his useful little medium pace squirty balls, and concedes just the two. We're fast approaching tea now...
Over 55 - England 171-4 (Simmons 0-0-0-0-0-0)
A maiden for Simmons helps make up for that poor first over. Prior did crunch him with a brilliant cut shot, but a stunning diving stop at cover-point denied him an eighth boundary of his innings.
And Prior's innings has been amazingly boundary heavy: 28 of his 35 runs have been from fours.
Over 54 - England 171-4 (Benn 0-0-0-1-4-1)
Beginning to wonder why Chris Gayle is persisting with Benn, he's not come close to picking up a wicket and is beginning to leak runs steadily.
Over 53 - England 165-3 (Simmons 0-0-0-1-0-wd-4)
Lendl Simmons comes into the attack, but it's a pretty patchy effort that gives up six runs - but though Prior chips for four with the last ball of the over, it's not far off being a simple catch to cover point. But the ball makes it over, and it runs down the hill and over the rope.
Over 52 - England 159-4 (Benn 0-0-1-0-1-1)
Three more off the disappointing Mr Benn, and that takes Bopara and Prior's partnership to 50.
Over 51 - England 156-4 (Taylor 0-1-0-0-0-4)
Lovely shot punched clean through the off side for four by Prior. He looks in very good touch - and with Bopara still looking good you don't know quite yet where this innings will finish up.
If Bopara made a century and Prior a half-century, that would take the total to comfortably over 200 - and with a few decent lower-middle order batsman coming in with points to prove, 300 still isn't out of the question.
Over 50 - England 151-4 (Benn 0-0-0-4-0-1)
A gorgeous, wristy drive from Bopara brings up the 150 for the home side with one of the best shots of the day so far.
Strauss, on the balcony, is looking pretty relaxed at the way things are going. He's just kicked back and is chatting to Alastair Cook. In fact they're possibly discussing Taiwanese cuisine, or the life and works of PG Wodehouse, so relaxed is their demeanour.
Over 49 - England 146-4 (Taylor 0-0-0-0-0-1)
The initial fireworks of this partnership have slowed a little, but the pairing have edged their way to a combined 36. It was exactly what England needed, just at the right time.
Over 48 - England 145-4 (Benn 0-0-0-0-1-0)
Good news for England - though terrible news for neutrals and Windies fans - as Fidel Edwards has gone off with back strain to have an ice bath, with Darren Sammy on as the sub.
Edwards has been the only really worrying danger in the attack so far today, it'd be a shame if we didn't see a bit more of him.
Over 47 - England 144-4 (Taylor 0-0-0-1-1-0)
Taylor seems outraged that Prior smashes him to the off-side for a run - the impudence, eh? Fancy that, a batsman trying to score runs! But it was a good shot and almost worked its way through the field to the boundary.
I like billy.mckain's outrage at Strauss, KP and Colly failing to make an impression today - but should they really lose their automatic places? Who would you switch them for just a few weeks before the Ashes, Bill? Leave your suggestions below...
Over 46 - England 142-4 (Benn 0-0-0-0-0-4)
Benn has been the least effective of the Windies bowling attack so far today, but just when it looks like he's delivered a tight over he flings one down leg for Bopara to nick for four.
Over 45 - England 138-4 (Taylor 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Taylor's first over of this new spell is a bit wild and woolly to say the least, with his line being less easy to guess than the Hungarian word for 'petunia' . It's another maiden.
Over 44 - England 138-4 (Benn 1-0-1-0-0-0)
A couple more singles off the over, but it's steady stuff that's only undermined by the slightly worrying thought of what on earth will happen when the next wicket falls.
Taylor is going to come back into the attack, Gayle trying to unsettle the batsmen a bit by moving the goalposts.
Over 43 - England 136-4 (Baker 0-4-4-0-0-4)
Lord knows what Matt Prior had at the drinks break - and what Lionel Baker had, for that matter - but the wicket keeper slots three effortless boundaries off the over as Gayle shuffles his bowlers round.
It's encouraging stuff from Prior. Perhaps the dressing room has decided that there's enough uncertainty in the atmopspheric conditions and pitch that they're just trying to score a few runs before they all get out. Prior is 20 off 21 balls and looking very confident at the crease.
Over 42 - England 124-4 (Benn 1-0-0-1-0-4)
A full toss from Benn on the last ball of the over is like a little gift-wrapped parcel for Bopara, and he unwraps it with the giddy enthusiasm of a five-year-old on Christmas morning, crashing it through mid-on for a beautiful boundary.
And that's the half century for Bopara, a great effort of keeping his head while all around him were losing theirs.
Other than that LBW shout, that is. But since he got away with that one, we can conveniently gloss over it as an irrelevance.
Over 41 - England 118-4 (Edwards 0-1-nb5-0-0-0-0)
A loose ball from Edwards is rare respite, and Prior glances it down the leg side where it whistles its way down to the boundary.
Over 40 - England 112-4 (Benn 1-0-0-0-0-2)
Benn goes for three off the over - but two of those came after Matt Prior edged flukily just past slip. Cripes, that was within a yard or so of condemning England to a sub-150 total - unless the new tail-enders/bowling all-rounders can make something happen.
Still - no panic quite yet. Bopara survived his LBW scare, so England are just about looking like they could post at least 200. Maybe.
Over 39 - WICKET! Collingwood 8 c Smith b Edwards, England 109-4 (Edwards 0-0-1-1-0-W)
Oh dear. Collingwood edges one to Smith just when you started to relax and think he would see the team through this sticky patch.
Instead, that sticky patch has just turn from jam that's been sitting out in the sun into a tube of Araldite that's been poured all over a pile of sticks.
And that, my friends, is very sticky indeed. Suddenly that record-equalling seventh consecutive draw doesn't seem quite so likely after all.
Over 38 - England 107-3 (0-0-2-0-0-0)
Bopara survives a big LBW shout - he was absolutely plum, but the ball pitched well outside off stump on an angled path in and umpire Steve Davis doesn't feel able to give the decision. That's one of his lives used up...
Over 37 - England 105-3 (nb-4-0-0-0-0-0)
Edwards pops one in short, but rather than ducking down beneath it Colly stands tall and pulls a terrific shot just behind square that races away for four. Beautiful stuff.
It's hard to believe how far Collingwood has come since the last home Ashes series, when he snuck into the team for the Oval test on the back of his reasonable bowling and top-notch fielding. He's now as certain a name on the team sheet as anyone.
Over 36 - England 100-3 (Taylor 0-4-0-0-0-0)
Bopara stonewalls through the rest of the over, looking like he's planning a long stay at the crease. The early wickets might have cut England back to their last two out-and-out batsman already, but this is some wonderful chance for Bopara to take control of that number three spot.
Over 35.2 - England 100-3
That's the ton up for England, with Bopara smashing a lovely, smooth drive through mid-off that splits the fielders perfectly before skipping off to the boundary. Lovely way to get to three figures.
Over 35 - England 96-3 (Edwards 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Colly survives the hat-trick ball, which fails to come back in and hits his leg harmlessly well outside the line. He goes on to see out the rest of the over without once being tempted into anything ridiculous - like playing a cricket shot, for example.
Who would you rather have than Collingwood in a rocky situation, eh? You feel that, in a different era, Colly would have been the last man alive at Custer's last stand or the final brave Tommy on the last boat out of Dunkirk.
Over 34: England 96-3 (Taylor 0-0-1-2-1-0)
Reasonable ship-steadying over for England, with Paul Collingwood picking up three runs to get off the mark safely.
But now, though, here comes Edwards looking for his hat-trick...
Over 33: England 92-3 (Edwards 0-0-0-2nb-W-W)
Over 33: WICKET! Pietersen 0 c Ramdin b Edwards, England 92-3
A corker from Edwards right in the slot swings just enough away from Pietersen - AND HE'S GONE! Incredible stuff, and England's innings is suddenly about as solid as a balsa wood house on quicksand...
A golden duck for England's golden boy - what a shocker... And Edwards will be on a hat-trick when he resumes in six balls' time.
Over 32.5: WICKET! Cook 35 b Edwards, England 92-2
Cook pushes away a no ball from Edwards, who puts his next ball miles wide of off... and then BOOM! A huge inswinger totally bamboozles the opener, curving back in and taking an inside edge which guides it on to his wicket and makes a right old mess of his stumps.
It was a cracking delivery from Edwards, making you wonder if the careless almost-wide the previous ball was really that careless after all. A shame for Cook, though, who'd made a patient start and was looking good.
Over 32: England 90-1 (Nash 0-1-0-0-0-1)
Cook and Bopara both manage to nick singles off Nash in that over to get the scoreboard turning over again. That's a good sign for England - Nash looks calmly predictable, and as long as they keep their heads they could get the scorers earning their cash. At long last.
Over 31:England 88-1 (Edwards 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Edwards seems to have found a bit of movement, his first ball swinging away markedly - but having started off target it wasn't a threat anyway. Bopara waits out yet another maiden, perhaps wanting the Lord's catering to settle a little.
For those who are asking about the absence of the Cow... well, Cow is camped here for the moment while we're working on a new and exciting live coverage system that'll let us publish updates more than once every 10 or 15 minutes. Revolutionary!
Over 30: England 88-1 (Nash 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Brendan Nash comes in to the attack for the first time today, with Cookie on strike. He keeps the ball dead straight down the middle, and after keeping careful on the first five Cook has a dig at the final ball of the over, but it clatters straight down to a fielder.
Another over, another maiden.. here comes Edwards now to try to shake things up a bit.
--- LUNCH ----
Over 29: England 88-1 (Benn 2-0-0-0-4-0)
Six runs plundered by Bopara off that final over of the morning. That gets him to 33 off 65 balls as the players head in to lunch, and completes a very solid first session for England. Solid, workmanlike, dependable - other than Strauss's ever so slightly idiotic dismissal, that is.
Well, as the players head in for Pimm's and cucumber sandwiches (it is Lord's, you know) I'll head off for a cup of machine coffee and a Lion bar. Oh, the glamour...
Over 28: England 82-1 (Baker 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Back to the maidens after that momentary excitement - it's sensible, if dull - and we're heading in to the last over before lunch.
Over 27: England 82-1 (Benn 0-0-1b-0-0-4)
Alastair Cook runs a bye which takes the partnership to 50, and then Bopara celebrates by cutting a loose delivery away for a beautiful four - that's the first run off the bat in nearly four overs.
That's more like it, fellas. They won't get to the ton before lunch, but despite the glacial pace - no, the tectonic pace of scoring so far today you'd have to chalk this one down as a very decent first session for the hosts.
Over 26: England 77-1 (Baker 0-wd-0-0-0-0-0)
Typical: word has reached Baker out on the pitch about my my copy-and-paste plan, and he throws down an atrocious delivery that is so wide I can only assume that he's done it on purpose to stop me in my tracks.
Over 25: England 76-1 (Benn 0-0-0-0-0-0)
It's getting tempting to just copy and past the over descriptions from further down at this point of the session: another uneventful maiden for Benn, with his line consistently outside off and never close enough to tempt Cook into having a dip.
(Do you think I got away with that one?)
Over 24: England 76-1 (Baker 0-0-0-0-0-0)
It's getting tempting to just copy and past the over descriptions from further down at this point of the session: another uneventful maiden for Baker, with his line consistently outside off and never close enough to tempt Bopara into having a dip.
Over 23: England 76-1 (Benn 0-1-1-1-0-1)
Another quiet over with a few languidly flicked singles on a ludicrously relaxed first session. It's a bit like watching a practice session at times - not much intensity on display as things are - but then again, this entire series is more or less just a sparring fight ahead of the summer's main event.
Over 22: England 72-1 (Baker 0-0-0-1-0-0)
Anyone else getting flashbacks to those dead wickets that killed off the Caribbean series earlier this year? Even the Lord's slope isn't causing much trouble now, as it seemingly is giving more trouble than help to the bowlers. There's a hopeful LBW shout for Cook on the second ball, but with it being pitched short the ball looks as if it's going well over the wicket.
Over 21: England 71-1 (Benn 0-2-1-0-0-0)
A couple of runs come at last , but other than the odd low bounce this morning the pitch seems crushingly slow. Is it just too early in the year to expect a good Test wicket in England?
Over 20: England 68-1 (Baker 0-0-0-0-0-0)
The run rate is now so slow that it'd get overtaken by an asthmatic snail, but after losing Strauss early that doesn't matter too much. If they get to 100-1 then you'd say that they're having a good start on a pitch like this.
Over 19: England 68-1 (Benn 0-0-0-0-0-0)
A maiden for Benn, though an up-and-down one that sees Cook miss a couple of attempting sweeps on the leg side - good bowling, and he's the pick of the tourists' bowlers so far.
Still, it's steady stuff for England. But they've a lot more to gain from a gutsy victory than they do from playing out another tame draw, even if it puts them at risk of losing the match.
Over 18: England 68-1 (Baker 0-0-4-0-0-0)
A lucky escape for Bopara! The bat flips round in his hand resulting in a weak chip towards cover... but the ball falls just short.
Phew!
Bopara celebrates his escape by blatting a crunching drive straight down the ground for four. Beautiful shot.
Over 17: England 64-1 (Benn 1-1-1-0-0-0)
Mr Benn puts in a bit of a worrying one to Cook, with the ball sliding low off a patch of the green on the wicket. There's definitely something here for the bowlers after all, despite the seeming lack of bounce in this track... This could be a deceptively good wicket for a Test.
Over 16: England 61-1 (Baker 0-1-0-0-0-0)
Bopara runs a quick single after glancing one down at hip height, and it's Baker to Cook (more fun with names!) for the rest of an uneventful over.
Over 15: England 60-1 (Benn 1-0-2-1-1-0)
The new bowler in the tourists' attack is Sulieman "Mr" Benn coming in from the nursery end. Cook gets another of those thick edges, but again it's past the slip and trundles down to third man for a couple.
N.B. Benn's nickname isn't actually "Mr Benn" - at least, I don't think it is. But in the spirit of comedy names today, it will be from now on, and we can even speculate on the special magic door in the visitors' changing rooms that lead to all manner of extraordinary adventures.
Over 14: England 55-1 (Baker 0-3-0-0-0-0)
Another solid over from Baker, with only Bopara's lovely drive through mid-off - which looks headed for the rope but slows up a little - to disrupt the reverie. The partnership is starting to look comfortable now.
Over 13: England 52-1 (Taylor 3-1-1-0-0-0)
A nice drive through mid-on from Bopara brings up the 50 despite Sarwan's dive to save the boundary, and England are actually going along pretty steadily now.
With more players vying for the number three spot than wannabes auditioning for Britain's Got Talent, the focus is firmly on Bopara at the moment - and he seems to be settling in well to the role.
Over 12: England 47-1 (Baker 0-1-0-0-4-0)
A thick edge on the penultimate ball of the over gives Alastair Cook another boundary, but with a trio of slips employed he won't be too comfortable scoring runs that way.
Over 11: England 42-1 (Taylor 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Anoother maiden over for the Windies, with Taylor keeping things neat enough but giving Alastair Cook absolutely no reason to risk swinging his bat.
There seems a bit of an odd atmosphere around this match today - with the crowd deathly quiet and the players bobbing around as if they're a sleepy county second XI playing out a three-day draw. Maybe it's the way that this series feels so shoehorned in between IPL and Twenty20 World Cup; still, one good day of cricket and everyone'll be right up for it again.
Over 10: England 42-1 (Baker 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Very solid opening maiden from Baker, keeping a steady line around off stump which forced Bopara to be cautious - and even still, he plays and misses at one of the balls to almost give up another cheap wicket.
In honour of Graham Onions's Test debut we're trying to think of some of the best food-related surnames in sport - thanks to Mike Smith for the suggestion of Albert Carrot (Jasper's brother, perhaps?). Around the office it's occurred to us that a player called Bob Liver would be ideal ("That's a great partnership between Liver and Onions"). Any other takers? Post your suggestions below.
Over 9: England 42-1 (Taylor 0-0-4-4-0-0)
Cook drives nicely off his front foot through mid-off, then pulls out another on the very next ball - this time on the other side - despite Lionel Baker's superbly funny comedy dive with flailing arms as the ball approached the boundary. Two cracking shots from the opener there; the Superman-esque Baker will bowl the next over.
Over 8: England 34-1 (Edwards 1-0-0-wd-0-4-0)
Cook takes a single to let Bopara into the spotlight, and Edwards starts flinging the ball down so hard you wonder he doesn't dislocate his shoulder. The results, rather than being another wicket, are a string of miserable balls miles outside off, one of which even gets called a wide.
Then, out of nowhere, Edwards puts the ball down the other side - and Bopara colly glances it away for his first boundary. Nicely done.
Over 7: England 28-1 (Taylor 0-nb2-0-0-W-0-0)
Bopara defends away the last two balls of the over, but from the speed and line of the balls Taylor put in to him it doesn't look like he's in for an easy ride today.
Over 6.4: WICKET! Strauss 16 c Ramdin b Taylor
The bright start for England crumbles as Strauss, looking comfortable, swings late at a ball well outside off stump from Taylor and edges straight to Ramdin.
Desperate disappointment for Strauss - that really was a silly one to get out to in the first half hour of the match. It's a huge moment for Ravi Bopara now - and a great chance to pencil himself in as the number three of choice.
Over 6: England 26-0 (Edwards 0-0-1-4-1-0)
Fidel Edwards manages to pull off a bouncer - which on a wicket like this is akin to successfully performing the kiss of life on a mannequin. Okay, so Strauss's limbo-esque ducking makes it look more impressive than it otherwise might have done... but it shows that there might be a bit there for the bowlers to work with.
And there's a bit for the fielders to work with two, on this evidence: two miscommunications on quick singles between the openers give the Windies half-chances at a couple of run-outs.
Cook pulls one away for four in between the cock-ups for his first boundary, and this is looking a useful start for England.
Over 5: England 20-0 (Taylor 0-0-4-4-0-1)
Just when the sparse crowd looked like dropping off, Strauss prods one straight down the ground for the first boundary of the day - effortlessly middled, it raced across the outfield - and then follows it up with a gorgeous cut. Four more!
That's some lovely aggressive stuff from the captain. Are the reprimands over his cautious decision-making in the Caribbean earlier in the year ringing in his ears? He runs a quick single off the last ball to keep the strike, and this is a man who all of a sudden looks like he's taking the fight to his opponents.
Over 4: England 11-0 (Edwards 0-0-2-0-0-0)
Cook grabs two off Edwards in the middle of another nondescript over. You can't help feeling that the Windies decision to bowl was less about the conditions suiting their bowlers and more about it not suiting their batsman - and we seem to have an accordingly defensive day in store at the moment.
Over 3: England 9-0 (Taylor nb-0-0-0-0-0-1)
A quick push-and-go single from Cook at the end of the over keeps the scoreboard ticking over, as the stats geniuses announce that playing two left-handers is - statistically - the best opening combination to have in Test cricket.
Really - those stats boys have far too much time on their hands. Who they hell sat down and crunched the numbers on that one?
Over 2: England 7-0 (Edwards 0-0-3-1-0-0)
Strauss has a swipe at the second ball of the over, and cuts it back on to his back leg - that wasn't far off being a horrific start for the skipper, but he recovers and grabs a three off the next ball.
Cook gets off the mark with a quick single off the next ball - his first. It's almost a shame that Onions isn't a West Indies player, we could have had all sorts of cracking gags about 'Cook chopping Onions for four' and so on. Ah well.
Over 1: England 3-0 (Taylor 0-0-0-0-0-3)
The over seems to be heading to an unexciting maiden most remarkable for Taylor staring down in disbelief at the lack of bounce from the spongy wicket. But then Strauss drives on to the leg side and runs a nippy three with Cook. Solid start from the home side.
10.51 - England will be desperately keen to open their account in this series with a win, but history isn't on their side. Not only have they notched up six draws in a row at Lord's, they've also gone 14 Test series without winning an opening match.
Still, as any half-decent statistician will tell you, the law of averages states with absolute clarity that Strauss will score a double century and that Onions will chop through the Windies top order with eye-wateringly good bowling that sees a victory by Saturday tea-time. Statistics, eh? Dontcha just love it?
10.46 - Please excuse the brief technical hitch which rendered our story headline as 'England Lose' for a few minutes.
At this point it's tempting to add a cheap gag - "We'll put that headline on ice for a couple of days" - but we'll resist since this is a brave new era for the English game.
10.37 - So, two debutants in the England side in the shapes of Bresnan and Onions.
Bresnan looks a useful bowling all-rounder for England, who seem to have realised that in Flintoff's absence playing four bowlers isn't going to win them any Test matches. He has three first class centuries to his name and can lob the ball down at 85mph. Nice.
Onions, a Durham player, has had a blistering start to the season which has earned him a call-up. Apparently, nobody ever uses his first name. And why would they? Still can't get over what a great name he has. All we need now is for his county team-mate Phil Mustard to break into the side and England will officially boast the best food-based surnames in sport.
Got any other suggestions for great comestible surnames? Then leave them in the comment boxes below...
10.35 - We've got the teams in now. England: Strauss, Cook, Bopara, Pietersen, Collingwood, Prior, Broad, Bresnan, Swann, Anderson and Onions.
West Indies: Gayle, Smith, Sarwan, Simmons, Chanderpaul, Nash, Ramdin, Taylor, Benn, Edwards, Baker.
10.30 - The skippers have come out on to the pitch, and Strauss has lost the toss. D'oh! Chris Gayle jumps at the chance to have a bowl, and we can't say we blame him.
10:20 - Morning all - the summer of Test cricket starts here! It's a grim-looking Wednesday morning, and the conditions at Lord's today are a West Indian batsman's equivalent of watching Saw III: patchy clouds: a bit of wind, and a late spring/early summer wicket that looks like it'll do a bit of seaming. This will be a great toss to win for Strauss.
The teams are yet to be announced, but let's hope that Graham Onions makes the starting line up. Not just because he's a promising wicket taker, but mainly because he has truly the best name in the world.
The Windies skipper brings himself on - presumably to stop any of those discussions about the light - but Bopara takes advantage straight away with a crunching drive over midwicket for four. Three more overs left today - and Fidel Edwards is taking his sweater off and grabbing the ball. It's brightened up a little bit, but Gayle hasn't taken the new ball to help his strike bowler get a place on the honours board in time for the end of the day.
Over 86 - England 277-7 (Benn 0-W-2-0-0-0)
Graeme Swann gets off to a decent start with a couple of runs on his first ball, but that last wicket means you'd probably say that it's been the Windies who've edged the day - despite that horror film's worth of dropped catches.
Over 85.2 - WICKET! Bresnan 9 lbw b Benn, England 275-7
The promising debut comes to an early end with what looks like a shocking decision: Hawkeye shows the ball is going miles over the stumps and probably wide of leg as well. That's a shocker of a decision - but England can't complain about thier luck on balance today.
Over 85 - England 275-6 (Taylor wd-2lb-2-0-0-1-0)
Taylor fires a load of balls - in every sense - down the leg side. Bresnan has no problem leaving them all, and with the light fading quickly it looks like the job of hanging around til closing time is almost complete.
Over 84 - England 269-6 (Benn 0-4-0-0-0-1)
Still on strike, Bresnan sloshes a stunning drive through the covers for four on the second ball of the over. What a nerve settler that one was! He looks pretty comfortable for a debutant, and picks up a single in the final ball of the over to keep the strike.
Over 83 - England 264-6 (Taylor 0-0-0-1-0-1)
Bopara takes a quick single - one that's a little took quick for Bresnan - and the big man then earns his first run in international cricket. And he's already outscored Kevin Pietersen.
Over 82 - England 262-6 (Benn 0-0-0-0-W-0)
New man in Tim Bresnan blocks away his first ball in Test cricket. It's a quick one, but he digs it out safely. If his stats - and his three first class centuries - are anything to go by, he could be equally as useful as Broad...
Over 81.5 - WICKET! Broad 38 c Taylor b Benn, England 262-6
Broad's luck finally runs out with a loose cut straight to Taylor at gully, and for the first time in what feels like hours the catch sticks. That's been a terrific contribution from Broad in a partnership of 69 which, along with the terrible catching, seems to have kept England in with a chance of winning a Test match.
Over 81 - England 262-5 (0-1-1-0-0-0)
With the end of the day just eight overs away, there's a new ball on offer - but it looks like Chris Gayle might save it for the last over or two.
Over 80 - England 260-5 (Benn 0-0-0-0-0-0-0)
Yet another dropped catch for the tourists, as Broad mistimes a big one down the ground and ends up chipping the ball straight back over Baker's head - but the big man simply pings it into the air off his thumb. Horrendous.
Over 79 - England 260-5 (Baker 0-0-2-4-0-0)
Bopara picks up six in that one to get well past the ton, and we're past the point where he's likekly to drop his guard having just got over the line.
Over 78 - England 254-5 (Benn 0-4-0-0-1-1)
A lovely slog over mid-on by Broad flies away for four to bring him to 36 - amazingly, Broad's Test average - with this innings included - is edging just over 31.
For comparison, Freddie Flintoff's Test average is 31.69.
Over 77 - England 248-5 (Baker 0-2-0-0-wd-0-0)
Now Bopara is dropped again! An outside edge whistles to second slip, but the outstretched Devon Smith can't hang on to it. That is five drops now... That one was a toughie, but most of them have been criminal.
Over 76 - England 245-5 (Benn 4-0-0-0-0-0)
Broad dropped again! An outside edge just passes by Ramdin's gloves, but the wicket keeper was too close in to have much chance of grabbing that one.
Over 75 - England 241-5 (Baker 1-0-3-0-0-0)
Bopara's brilliant century in the toughest of circumstances has held England together and kept them in this Test match. Looks like all bets are off for that number three slot... and I guess that means the end of Michael Vaughan's Test career.
Over 74.1 - CENTURY! Ravi Bopara runs a quick single off the first ball of Baker's over, and that's his ton!
Over 74 - England 237-5 (Benn 1-0-1-0-0-0)
Bopara on 99, and will face Baker at the start of the next over...
Over 73 - England 235-5 (Baker 0-0-0-3-0-0)
Yet another beautiful drive from Broad sees him pick up three runs. Bopara is still there marooned just short of three figures...
Over 72 - England 232-5 (Benn 0-0-1-0-1-0)
Bopara cracks a gorgeous drive that looks like it will be the boundary - but though it flies to the rope, it's stopped just short and it will only be a single... Come on Ravi, get over the line already...
Change of bowling sees Baker come in, with Broad facing now.
Over 71 - England 230-5 (Edwards 0-0-4-0-0-0)
Broad clatters a terrific back-foot boundary off Edwards's very full delivery. That's Broad to a very decent 20 already, and the partnership is now 37.
Over 70 - England 226-5 (Benn 0-0-0-0-1-1)
A solid over from Benn, but Bopara is one closer to that ton...
Over 69 - England 224-5 (Edwards 0-0-3nb-0-0-0-0)
Edwards looks furious about these dropped catches still, and gives everything he's got at Broad - but the England bowler keeps his head. He knows that him keeping his wicket for the rest of the day will likely be the difference between a potential match-winning first innings and a match-losing one.
Over 68 - England 221-5 (Baker 0-0-0-2-4-4)
Bopara scores his first runs for a good ten minutes with a lovely leg glance for four off Baker - then jammily edges for four on the very next ball to be within four of a brilliant century.
Over 67 - England 211-5 (Edwards 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Unbelievable drop in the slips! Broad edges one appallingly to Gayle, who fumbles it and watches in horror as Devon Smith can't hold the rebound either. Edwards has four wickets from the day, but he could have had seven: that's three absolute sitters dropped off his bowling this afternoon.
Over 66 - England 211-5 (Baker 1-0-0-0-0-0)
Broad nips a nice little single off the first ball of the over, but Bopara looks like he's in the nervous nineties already - even though he's only on 86.
Over 65 - England 210-5 (Edwards 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Edwards locks Bopara out for an entire over, putting the ball consistently well wide of leg. England's new number three is looking great - and more important, he's looking lucky as hell.
Over 64 - England 210-5 (Baker 1-0-3-0-1-0)
Broad gets another thick edge to gully, but this time it doesn't quite carry and he gets away with it again. You feel that the innings can't last long, though... but then he hits another of those lovely cover drives that earns him three, so maybe he can at least pick up a few before he heads back to the pavillion.
Over 63 - England 205-5 (Edwards 0-1-0-0-4-0)
Stuart Broad smacks a lovely drive through the off side once again, this time a perfectly-timed front foot effort that races through cover for four. But just as the crowd start to enjoy it, he gets dropped at gully on the very next ball by Benn.
Over 62 - England 200-5 (Simmons 0-0-0-wd-0-4-wd-0)
A gorgeous four from Broad, who rocks back and smashes the ball cleanly through the gap to remind everyone that his batting is clearly good enough for him to be considered an all-rounder.
It's a very loose over from Simmons that includes a pair of dreadful wides - proper Saturday afternoon at the local park stuff. The second of the wides brings up the 200 for England - a score that looked unlikely just after lunch.
Over 61 - England 194-5 (Edwards W-0-1-0-0-0)
An excellent over for Edwards, keeping Broad and Bopara penned in. There's a brief call for LBW a on that final ball of the over but it was a clear bat-pad.
Over 60.1 - WICKET! Prior 42, c Simmons b Edwards
There's the breakthrough - the tea break, like the lunch break, serving only to ruin the batsmen's flow. Matt Prior pokes at a ball just outside off stump and manages only to flop it up into the hands of Lendl Simmons at cover.
Bad news for England, but Prior has done a decent job of helping pull England out of trouble. The question now is whether the lower order men can keep Bopara company long enough to take the score into competitive territory.
Over 60 - England 193-4 (Simmons 0-0-4-2-0-0)
A mis-timed leg glance by Bopara catches an edge and races down to the boundary for four. He's living slightly dangerously now...
Over 59 - England 187-4 (Edwards 0-4-0-0-0-1)
Fidel Edwards is back in after tea - obviously that 'back strain' has healed fairly quickly, and delivers a couple of lovely yorkers... but Bopara digs the first one out, and smashes the second straight back down the ground for four!
A couple of balls later his good return from tea almost turns sour as he spoons an easy chance to Brendan Nash at square-leg... but Nash drops it! A straightforward chance, that one, and Bopara has lost another life on top of his earlier LBW survival.
-------- TEA -----------
Over 58 - England 182-4 (Gayle 0-0-1-2-0-0)
That's the last over before the tea break, and though England were looking in major trouble after Edwards's three quick wickets after lunch - including a first-ball dismissal of Kevin Pietersen - Boparar and Prior have done a superb, 73-runs-and-counting-partnership job of keeping the home side in it.
Over 57 - England 179-4 (Simmons 1-0-0-1-4-0)
Prior prods one between wicket keeper and the sole slip in place for Simmons, and the ball edges down to third man for four. There's a bit of head scratching by bowler and captain, but Prior played down on it enough that it would never have carried anyway.
Over 56 - England 173-4 (Gayle 2-0-0-0-0-0)
The skipper trundles in to bowl his useful little medium pace squirty balls, and concedes just the two. We're fast approaching tea now...
Over 55 - England 171-4 (Simmons 0-0-0-0-0-0)
A maiden for Simmons helps make up for that poor first over. Prior did crunch him with a brilliant cut shot, but a stunning diving stop at cover-point denied him an eighth boundary of his innings.
And Prior's innings has been amazingly boundary heavy: 28 of his 35 runs have been from fours.
Over 54 - England 171-4 (Benn 0-0-0-1-4-1)
Beginning to wonder why Chris Gayle is persisting with Benn, he's not come close to picking up a wicket and is beginning to leak runs steadily.
Over 53 - England 165-3 (Simmons 0-0-0-1-0-wd-4)
Lendl Simmons comes into the attack, but it's a pretty patchy effort that gives up six runs - but though Prior chips for four with the last ball of the over, it's not far off being a simple catch to cover point. But the ball makes it over, and it runs down the hill and over the rope.
Over 52 - England 159-4 (Benn 0-0-1-0-1-1)
Three more off the disappointing Mr Benn, and that takes Bopara and Prior's partnership to 50.
Over 51 - England 156-4 (Taylor 0-1-0-0-0-4)
Lovely shot punched clean through the off side for four by Prior. He looks in very good touch - and with Bopara still looking good you don't know quite yet where this innings will finish up.
If Bopara made a century and Prior a half-century, that would take the total to comfortably over 200 - and with a few decent lower-middle order batsman coming in with points to prove, 300 still isn't out of the question.
Over 50 - England 151-4 (Benn 0-0-0-4-0-1)
A gorgeous, wristy drive from Bopara brings up the 150 for the home side with one of the best shots of the day so far.
Strauss, on the balcony, is looking pretty relaxed at the way things are going. He's just kicked back and is chatting to Alastair Cook. In fact they're possibly discussing Taiwanese cuisine, or the life and works of PG Wodehouse, so relaxed is their demeanour.
Over 49 - England 146-4 (Taylor 0-0-0-0-0-1)
The initial fireworks of this partnership have slowed a little, but the pairing have edged their way to a combined 36. It was exactly what England needed, just at the right time.
Over 48 - England 145-4 (Benn 0-0-0-0-1-0)
Good news for England - though terrible news for neutrals and Windies fans - as Fidel Edwards has gone off with back strain to have an ice bath, with Darren Sammy on as the sub.
Edwards has been the only really worrying danger in the attack so far today, it'd be a shame if we didn't see a bit more of him.
Over 47 - England 144-4 (Taylor 0-0-0-1-1-0)
Taylor seems outraged that Prior smashes him to the off-side for a run - the impudence, eh? Fancy that, a batsman trying to score runs! But it was a good shot and almost worked its way through the field to the boundary.
I like billy.mckain's outrage at Strauss, KP and Colly failing to make an impression today - but should they really lose their automatic places? Who would you switch them for just a few weeks before the Ashes, Bill? Leave your suggestions below...
Over 46 - England 142-4 (Benn 0-0-0-0-0-4)
Benn has been the least effective of the Windies bowling attack so far today, but just when it looks like he's delivered a tight over he flings one down leg for Bopara to nick for four.
Over 45 - England 138-4 (Taylor 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Taylor's first over of this new spell is a bit wild and woolly to say the least, with his line being less easy to guess than the Hungarian word for 'petunia' . It's another maiden.
Over 44 - England 138-4 (Benn 1-0-1-0-0-0)
A couple more singles off the over, but it's steady stuff that's only undermined by the slightly worrying thought of what on earth will happen when the next wicket falls.
Taylor is going to come back into the attack, Gayle trying to unsettle the batsmen a bit by moving the goalposts.
Over 43 - England 136-4 (Baker 0-4-4-0-0-4)
Lord knows what Matt Prior had at the drinks break - and what Lionel Baker had, for that matter - but the wicket keeper slots three effortless boundaries off the over as Gayle shuffles his bowlers round.
It's encouraging stuff from Prior. Perhaps the dressing room has decided that there's enough uncertainty in the atmopspheric conditions and pitch that they're just trying to score a few runs before they all get out. Prior is 20 off 21 balls and looking very confident at the crease.
Over 42 - England 124-4 (Benn 1-0-0-1-0-4)
A full toss from Benn on the last ball of the over is like a little gift-wrapped parcel for Bopara, and he unwraps it with the giddy enthusiasm of a five-year-old on Christmas morning, crashing it through mid-on for a beautiful boundary.
And that's the half century for Bopara, a great effort of keeping his head while all around him were losing theirs.
Other than that LBW shout, that is. But since he got away with that one, we can conveniently gloss over it as an irrelevance.
Over 41 - England 118-4 (Edwards 0-1-nb5-0-0-0-0)
A loose ball from Edwards is rare respite, and Prior glances it down the leg side where it whistles its way down to the boundary.
Over 40 - England 112-4 (Benn 1-0-0-0-0-2)
Benn goes for three off the over - but two of those came after Matt Prior edged flukily just past slip. Cripes, that was within a yard or so of condemning England to a sub-150 total - unless the new tail-enders/bowling all-rounders can make something happen.
Still - no panic quite yet. Bopara survived his LBW scare, so England are just about looking like they could post at least 200. Maybe.
Over 39 - WICKET! Collingwood 8 c Smith b Edwards, England 109-4 (Edwards 0-0-1-1-0-W)
Oh dear. Collingwood edges one to Smith just when you started to relax and think he would see the team through this sticky patch.
Instead, that sticky patch has just turn from jam that's been sitting out in the sun into a tube of Araldite that's been poured all over a pile of sticks.
And that, my friends, is very sticky indeed. Suddenly that record-equalling seventh consecutive draw doesn't seem quite so likely after all.
Over 38 - England 107-3 (0-0-2-0-0-0)
Bopara survives a big LBW shout - he was absolutely plum, but the ball pitched well outside off stump on an angled path in and umpire Steve Davis doesn't feel able to give the decision. That's one of his lives used up...
Over 37 - England 105-3 (nb-4-0-0-0-0-0)
Edwards pops one in short, but rather than ducking down beneath it Colly stands tall and pulls a terrific shot just behind square that races away for four. Beautiful stuff.
It's hard to believe how far Collingwood has come since the last home Ashes series, when he snuck into the team for the Oval test on the back of his reasonable bowling and top-notch fielding. He's now as certain a name on the team sheet as anyone.
Over 36 - England 100-3 (Taylor 0-4-0-0-0-0)
Bopara stonewalls through the rest of the over, looking like he's planning a long stay at the crease. The early wickets might have cut England back to their last two out-and-out batsman already, but this is some wonderful chance for Bopara to take control of that number three spot.
Over 35.2 - England 100-3
That's the ton up for England, with Bopara smashing a lovely, smooth drive through mid-off that splits the fielders perfectly before skipping off to the boundary. Lovely way to get to three figures.
Over 35 - England 96-3 (Edwards 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Colly survives the hat-trick ball, which fails to come back in and hits his leg harmlessly well outside the line. He goes on to see out the rest of the over without once being tempted into anything ridiculous - like playing a cricket shot, for example.
Who would you rather have than Collingwood in a rocky situation, eh? You feel that, in a different era, Colly would have been the last man alive at Custer's last stand or the final brave Tommy on the last boat out of Dunkirk.
Over 34: England 96-3 (Taylor 0-0-1-2-1-0)
Reasonable ship-steadying over for England, with Paul Collingwood picking up three runs to get off the mark safely.
But now, though, here comes Edwards looking for his hat-trick...
Over 33: England 92-3 (Edwards 0-0-0-2nb-W-W)
Over 33: WICKET! Pietersen 0 c Ramdin b Edwards, England 92-3
A corker from Edwards right in the slot swings just enough away from Pietersen - AND HE'S GONE! Incredible stuff, and England's innings is suddenly about as solid as a balsa wood house on quicksand...
A golden duck for England's golden boy - what a shocker... And Edwards will be on a hat-trick when he resumes in six balls' time.
Over 32.5: WICKET! Cook 35 b Edwards, England 92-2
Cook pushes away a no ball from Edwards, who puts his next ball miles wide of off... and then BOOM! A huge inswinger totally bamboozles the opener, curving back in and taking an inside edge which guides it on to his wicket and makes a right old mess of his stumps.
It was a cracking delivery from Edwards, making you wonder if the careless almost-wide the previous ball was really that careless after all. A shame for Cook, though, who'd made a patient start and was looking good.
Over 32: England 90-1 (Nash 0-1-0-0-0-1)
Cook and Bopara both manage to nick singles off Nash in that over to get the scoreboard turning over again. That's a good sign for England - Nash looks calmly predictable, and as long as they keep their heads they could get the scorers earning their cash. At long last.
Over 31:England 88-1 (Edwards 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Edwards seems to have found a bit of movement, his first ball swinging away markedly - but having started off target it wasn't a threat anyway. Bopara waits out yet another maiden, perhaps wanting the Lord's catering to settle a little.
For those who are asking about the absence of the Cow... well, Cow is camped here for the moment while we're working on a new and exciting live coverage system that'll let us publish updates more than once every 10 or 15 minutes. Revolutionary!
Over 30: England 88-1 (Nash 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Brendan Nash comes in to the attack for the first time today, with Cookie on strike. He keeps the ball dead straight down the middle, and after keeping careful on the first five Cook has a dig at the final ball of the over, but it clatters straight down to a fielder.
Another over, another maiden.. here comes Edwards now to try to shake things up a bit.
--- LUNCH ----
Over 29: England 88-1 (Benn 2-0-0-0-4-0)
Six runs plundered by Bopara off that final over of the morning. That gets him to 33 off 65 balls as the players head in to lunch, and completes a very solid first session for England. Solid, workmanlike, dependable - other than Strauss's ever so slightly idiotic dismissal, that is.
Well, as the players head in for Pimm's and cucumber sandwiches (it is Lord's, you know) I'll head off for a cup of machine coffee and a Lion bar. Oh, the glamour...
Over 28: England 82-1 (Baker 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Back to the maidens after that momentary excitement - it's sensible, if dull - and we're heading in to the last over before lunch.
Over 27: England 82-1 (Benn 0-0-1b-0-0-4)
Alastair Cook runs a bye which takes the partnership to 50, and then Bopara celebrates by cutting a loose delivery away for a beautiful four - that's the first run off the bat in nearly four overs.
That's more like it, fellas. They won't get to the ton before lunch, but despite the glacial pace - no, the tectonic pace of scoring so far today you'd have to chalk this one down as a very decent first session for the hosts.
Over 26: England 77-1 (Baker 0-wd-0-0-0-0-0)
Typical: word has reached Baker out on the pitch about my my copy-and-paste plan, and he throws down an atrocious delivery that is so wide I can only assume that he's done it on purpose to stop me in my tracks.
Over 25: England 76-1 (Benn 0-0-0-0-0-0)
It's getting tempting to just copy and past the over descriptions from further down at this point of the session: another uneventful maiden for Benn, with his line consistently outside off and never close enough to tempt Cook into having a dip.
(Do you think I got away with that one?)
Over 24: England 76-1 (Baker 0-0-0-0-0-0)
It's getting tempting to just copy and past the over descriptions from further down at this point of the session: another uneventful maiden for Baker, with his line consistently outside off and never close enough to tempt Bopara into having a dip.
Over 23: England 76-1 (Benn 0-1-1-1-0-1)
Another quiet over with a few languidly flicked singles on a ludicrously relaxed first session. It's a bit like watching a practice session at times - not much intensity on display as things are - but then again, this entire series is more or less just a sparring fight ahead of the summer's main event.
Over 22: England 72-1 (Baker 0-0-0-1-0-0)
Anyone else getting flashbacks to those dead wickets that killed off the Caribbean series earlier this year? Even the Lord's slope isn't causing much trouble now, as it seemingly is giving more trouble than help to the bowlers. There's a hopeful LBW shout for Cook on the second ball, but with it being pitched short the ball looks as if it's going well over the wicket.
Over 21: England 71-1 (Benn 0-2-1-0-0-0)
A couple of runs come at last , but other than the odd low bounce this morning the pitch seems crushingly slow. Is it just too early in the year to expect a good Test wicket in England?
Over 20: England 68-1 (Baker 0-0-0-0-0-0)
The run rate is now so slow that it'd get overtaken by an asthmatic snail, but after losing Strauss early that doesn't matter too much. If they get to 100-1 then you'd say that they're having a good start on a pitch like this.
Over 19: England 68-1 (Benn 0-0-0-0-0-0)
A maiden for Benn, though an up-and-down one that sees Cook miss a couple of attempting sweeps on the leg side - good bowling, and he's the pick of the tourists' bowlers so far.
Still, it's steady stuff for England. But they've a lot more to gain from a gutsy victory than they do from playing out another tame draw, even if it puts them at risk of losing the match.
Over 18: England 68-1 (Baker 0-0-4-0-0-0)
A lucky escape for Bopara! The bat flips round in his hand resulting in a weak chip towards cover... but the ball falls just short.
Phew!
Bopara celebrates his escape by blatting a crunching drive straight down the ground for four. Beautiful shot.
Over 17: England 64-1 (Benn 1-1-1-0-0-0)
Mr Benn puts in a bit of a worrying one to Cook, with the ball sliding low off a patch of the green on the wicket. There's definitely something here for the bowlers after all, despite the seeming lack of bounce in this track... This could be a deceptively good wicket for a Test.
Over 16: England 61-1 (Baker 0-1-0-0-0-0)
Bopara runs a quick single after glancing one down at hip height, and it's Baker to Cook (more fun with names!) for the rest of an uneventful over.
Over 15: England 60-1 (Benn 1-0-2-1-1-0)
The new bowler in the tourists' attack is Sulieman "Mr" Benn coming in from the nursery end. Cook gets another of those thick edges, but again it's past the slip and trundles down to third man for a couple.
N.B. Benn's nickname isn't actually "Mr Benn" - at least, I don't think it is. But in the spirit of comedy names today, it will be from now on, and we can even speculate on the special magic door in the visitors' changing rooms that lead to all manner of extraordinary adventures.
Over 14: England 55-1 (Baker 0-3-0-0-0-0)
Another solid over from Baker, with only Bopara's lovely drive through mid-off - which looks headed for the rope but slows up a little - to disrupt the reverie. The partnership is starting to look comfortable now.
Over 13: England 52-1 (Taylor 3-1-1-0-0-0)
A nice drive through mid-on from Bopara brings up the 50 despite Sarwan's dive to save the boundary, and England are actually going along pretty steadily now.
With more players vying for the number three spot than wannabes auditioning for Britain's Got Talent, the focus is firmly on Bopara at the moment - and he seems to be settling in well to the role.
Over 12: England 47-1 (Baker 0-1-0-0-4-0)
A thick edge on the penultimate ball of the over gives Alastair Cook another boundary, but with a trio of slips employed he won't be too comfortable scoring runs that way.
Over 11: England 42-1 (Taylor 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Anoother maiden over for the Windies, with Taylor keeping things neat enough but giving Alastair Cook absolutely no reason to risk swinging his bat.
There seems a bit of an odd atmosphere around this match today - with the crowd deathly quiet and the players bobbing around as if they're a sleepy county second XI playing out a three-day draw. Maybe it's the way that this series feels so shoehorned in between IPL and Twenty20 World Cup; still, one good day of cricket and everyone'll be right up for it again.
Over 10: England 42-1 (Baker 0-0-0-0-0-0)
Very solid opening maiden from Baker, keeping a steady line around off stump which forced Bopara to be cautious - and even still, he plays and misses at one of the balls to almost give up another cheap wicket.
In honour of Graham Onions's Test debut we're trying to think of some of the best food-related surnames in sport - thanks to Mike Smith for the suggestion of Albert Carrot (Jasper's brother, perhaps?). Around the office it's occurred to us that a player called Bob Liver would be ideal ("That's a great partnership between Liver and Onions"). Any other takers? Post your suggestions below.
Over 9: England 42-1 (Taylor 0-0-4-4-0-0)
Cook drives nicely off his front foot through mid-off, then pulls out another on the very next ball - this time on the other side - despite Lionel Baker's superbly funny comedy dive with flailing arms as the ball approached the boundary. Two cracking shots from the opener there; the Superman-esque Baker will bowl the next over.
Over 8: England 34-1 (Edwards 1-0-0-wd-0-4-0)
Cook takes a single to let Bopara into the spotlight, and Edwards starts flinging the ball down so hard you wonder he doesn't dislocate his shoulder. The results, rather than being another wicket, are a string of miserable balls miles outside off, one of which even gets called a wide.
Then, out of nowhere, Edwards puts the ball down the other side - and Bopara colly glances it away for his first boundary. Nicely done.
Over 7: England 28-1 (Taylor 0-nb2-0-0-W-0-0)
Bopara defends away the last two balls of the over, but from the speed and line of the balls Taylor put in to him it doesn't look like he's in for an easy ride today.
Over 6.4: WICKET! Strauss 16 c Ramdin b Taylor
The bright start for England crumbles as Strauss, looking comfortable, swings late at a ball well outside off stump from Taylor and edges straight to Ramdin.
Desperate disappointment for Strauss - that really was a silly one to get out to in the first half hour of the match. It's a huge moment for Ravi Bopara now - and a great chance to pencil himself in as the number three of choice.
Over 6: England 26-0 (Edwards 0-0-1-4-1-0)
Fidel Edwards manages to pull off a bouncer - which on a wicket like this is akin to successfully performing the kiss of life on a mannequin. Okay, so Strauss's limbo-esque ducking makes it look more impressive than it otherwise might have done... but it shows that there might be a bit there for the bowlers to work with.
And there's a bit for the fielders to work with two, on this evidence: two miscommunications on quick singles between the openers give the Windies half-chances at a couple of run-outs.
Cook pulls one away for four in between the cock-ups for his first boundary, and this is looking a useful start for England.
Over 5: England 20-0 (Taylor 0-0-4-4-0-1)
Just when the sparse crowd looked like dropping off, Strauss prods one straight down the ground for the first boundary of the day - effortlessly middled, it raced across the outfield - and then follows it up with a gorgeous cut. Four more!
That's some lovely aggressive stuff from the captain. Are the reprimands over his cautious decision-making in the Caribbean earlier in the year ringing in his ears? He runs a quick single off the last ball to keep the strike, and this is a man who all of a sudden looks like he's taking the fight to his opponents.
Over 4: England 11-0 (Edwards 0-0-2-0-0-0)
Cook grabs two off Edwards in the middle of another nondescript over. You can't help feeling that the Windies decision to bowl was less about the conditions suiting their bowlers and more about it not suiting their batsman - and we seem to have an accordingly defensive day in store at the moment.
Over 3: England 9-0 (Taylor nb-0-0-0-0-0-1)
A quick push-and-go single from Cook at the end of the over keeps the scoreboard ticking over, as the stats geniuses announce that playing two left-handers is - statistically - the best opening combination to have in Test cricket.
Really - those stats boys have far too much time on their hands. Who they hell sat down and crunched the numbers on that one?
Over 2: England 7-0 (Edwards 0-0-3-1-0-0)
Strauss has a swipe at the second ball of the over, and cuts it back on to his back leg - that wasn't far off being a horrific start for the skipper, but he recovers and grabs a three off the next ball.
Cook gets off the mark with a quick single off the next ball - his first. It's almost a shame that Onions isn't a West Indies player, we could have had all sorts of cracking gags about 'Cook chopping Onions for four' and so on. Ah well.
Over 1: England 3-0 (Taylor 0-0-0-0-0-3)
The over seems to be heading to an unexciting maiden most remarkable for Taylor staring down in disbelief at the lack of bounce from the spongy wicket. But then Strauss drives on to the leg side and runs a nippy three with Cook. Solid start from the home side.
10.51 - England will be desperately keen to open their account in this series with a win, but history isn't on their side. Not only have they notched up six draws in a row at Lord's, they've also gone 14 Test series without winning an opening match.
Still, as any half-decent statistician will tell you, the law of averages states with absolute clarity that Strauss will score a double century and that Onions will chop through the Windies top order with eye-wateringly good bowling that sees a victory by Saturday tea-time. Statistics, eh? Dontcha just love it?
10.46 - Please excuse the brief technical hitch which rendered our story headline as 'England Lose' for a few minutes.
At this point it's tempting to add a cheap gag - "We'll put that headline on ice for a couple of days" - but we'll resist since this is a brave new era for the English game.
10.37 - So, two debutants in the England side in the shapes of Bresnan and Onions.
Bresnan looks a useful bowling all-rounder for England, who seem to have realised that in Flintoff's absence playing four bowlers isn't going to win them any Test matches. He has three first class centuries to his name and can lob the ball down at 85mph. Nice.
Onions, a Durham player, has had a blistering start to the season which has earned him a call-up. Apparently, nobody ever uses his first name. And why would they? Still can't get over what a great name he has. All we need now is for his county team-mate Phil Mustard to break into the side and England will officially boast the best food-based surnames in sport.
Got any other suggestions for great comestible surnames? Then leave them in the comment boxes below...
10.35 - We've got the teams in now. England: Strauss, Cook, Bopara, Pietersen, Collingwood, Prior, Broad, Bresnan, Swann, Anderson and Onions.
West Indies: Gayle, Smith, Sarwan, Simmons, Chanderpaul, Nash, Ramdin, Taylor, Benn, Edwards, Baker.
10.30 - The skippers have come out on to the pitch, and Strauss has lost the toss. D'oh! Chris Gayle jumps at the chance to have a bowl, and we can't say we blame him.
10:20 - Morning all - the summer of Test cricket starts here! It's a grim-looking Wednesday morning, and the conditions at Lord's today are a West Indian batsman's equivalent of watching Saw III: patchy clouds: a bit of wind, and a late spring/early summer wicket that looks like it'll do a bit of seaming. This will be a great toss to win for Strauss.
The teams are yet to be announced, but let's hope that Graham Onions makes the starting line up. Not just because he's a promising wicket taker, but mainly because he has truly the best name in the world.
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